“The world’s biggest drug addict has finally kicked the habit. Big Brother, an Asian elephant hooked on heroin after drug traffickers fed him smack-laced bananas, is finally heading home after three years in rehab, Reuters quoted the Xinhua news agency as saying. The bull, or male, was captured in the wild in 2005 in southwestern China by the bad guys, who controlled him with drugs. Cops busted the gang a few months later, but then noticed the big beast was suffering from opiate withdrawal. He was sent to a wildlife facility on the southern island of Hainan, where his treatment involved a year of methadone injections at five times the human dosage.” [editor’s note: Now if we could just get America’s “elephant” (and its donkey?) weaned off their imperialist-warmongering jones - SAT] (09/04/08)